It wouldn’t be a new year without New Year’s resolutions, but because our new puppy ate my resolutions New Year’s Eve, here are 10 bold predictions for 2022.
1. Alexandria Obsessively Compulsive, or AOC, tweets something stupid then doubles down on her stupid tweet with an even stupider comment about her stupid tweet. The Queen of “The Squad” got a head start on our 2022 prediction Dec 31 by accusing Republicans of being “creepy weirdos” obsessed with her and “sexually frustrated” because they couldn’t date her.
We’d expect nothing less from the former bartender turned Congressperson than to sexually fantasize about herself with Republicans.
2. Dr. Anthony Fauci, aka Frankenfauci, suggests we could cure Covid by jabbing babies in the birth canal with experimental mRNA gene therapy drugs. Any mother, aka birthing person to the mentally deranged, refusing the experimental therapy would be held prisoner by the CDC and forced to listen to looping Anthony Fauci interviews and watching endless clips of his opening day pitch for the Washington Nationals.
3. Former President Barack Hussein Obama accepts a $10 million advance from the For Dummies books publisher to write a book on “How to Write Memoirs” sequels. The former president will also announce plans to release four more autobiographies before the 2024 election once he verifies his sources.
4. The LGBTQ community releases evidence they say proves Noah loaded multiple genders of animals on the ark. Spoiler alert: the guardians of gender pronouns community says the rainbow described in Genesis following The Great Flood is proof that Noah’s family were early LGBTQ supporters.
5. Merrian-Webster will publish a new dictionary of Biden terms and Rosetta Stone will release a beta version of Biden-speak sometime this spring.
6. Black Lives Matter launches segregated public schools for people of color because they say desegregated schools are infested with white supremacists. The two or three actual white supremacists that exist applaud the move.
7. The women of The View on ABC will announce they are banning all guests not fully vaccinated. Initially it won’t be clear if they meant vaccinated for Covid or for Joy Reid’s moronic opinions.
8. Joint Chief Chairman Mark Milley will denounce his own white supremacy and recommend Jussie Smollett as his replacement.
9. American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten will admit her support of Critical Race Theory and Black Lives Matter literature in school curriculums is largely because she’s always been bad at math and PE class.
10. CNN and Hunter Biden will announce plans to cosponsor private intervention sessions for teens and pre-adolescents confused about their sexuality and gender pronouns. The name of their program will be Bigger Brother.
Vice-President Kamala Harris learns the root cause why millions of illegals are invading America: It’s because America is a racist, homophobic, xenophobic country which offers lots of free stuff for those breaking the laws to move here.
Shoe manufacturer Crocs announces a new line of footwear in 2022: the Fauci Flip-Flops.
Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.
Copyright 2022, Dean A. George©