January 2019 – Dean Riffs

This just in to our news desk: Federal employees affected by the longest government shutdown in history may soon be going back to work.

Sources close to secret discussions between Republicans, Democrats and President Donald Trump say an agreement may be near at hand.

The parties are reportedly close to reaching an agreement on the president’s request for $5.7 billion to construct a border wall. Surprisingly, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has agreed to the president’s request on just two conditions:

1) President Trump will give New York frosh Democrat Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez an ambassadorial appointment – preferably somewhere far away from the 116th Congress. Pelosi herself is reportedly suggesting Nepal or central Cambodia.

2) President Trump will use his extensive business connections to persuade Burger King to name Rep Rashida Tlaib, the freshman Democrat from Michigan, as their national spokesperson for their Bacon King burger.

Tlaib has also been mentioned as a possible spokesperson for Purina dog food and Holy Land tour guide groups.

Her new job would require frequent travel to different continents and days on location in exotic venues like Aleppo, Syria; Tripoli, Libya and Ashgabat, Turkmenistan.

Sources noted that Speaker Pelosi approached the president via back channels, surprising Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer whose office was not consulted on the new development.

A Schumer spokesperson confessed the New York senator was initially “miffed” at not being consulted, but agreed that Pelosi’s actions were understandable considering Representatives Ocasio-Cortez and Tlaib were “special” elected officials with wide ranging talents.

Pelosi just had this to say through her spokesperson:

“We feel it would be selfish to deny these two gifted females the unique opportunities available to them. We wish them the best of success in their new ventures, and hope they will bring the same initiative and vision to their new responsibilities as they did during their short time in the 116th Congress.”

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Sources: Washington Post, The Guardian

Photo sources: Movement for a People’s Party, Daily Caller

The Democrats of the 116th Congress were sworn into office January 3, and the only thing missing from the spectacle was a clown car and laugh track.

Based on their heralded diversity and socialism proclivities, we knew the special day would be ripe with bombast and bonhomie, but truth be told, their unhinged zealotry exceeded our expectations.

AN OATH FOR AN OAF
Arizona Democrat frosh Kyrsten Sinema chose to swear an oath to the Constitution on a law book rather than the Holy Bible.

Kyrsten Sinema – Arizona

Sinema is the only congressional lawmaker who claims no religious affiliation. Spokesman John LaBombard claimed her choice to refrain from using a Bible to take her oath of office was just business as usual for the newly-minted senator that once called Arizonans “crazy.”

She is also one of only two senators with LGBTQ sexual orientation. Conceivably this could give Sinema some advantage when the so-called moderate straddles the fence on important issues facing our country.

IMPROVE BORDER SECURITY – EXPAND ABORTION!
Speaker Pelosi and House Democrats wasted no time their first day addressing an immediate solution to the government shutdown over President Trump’s request for a border wall. Their recommendation?

Expand abortion access worldwide by lifting the ban on non-governmental groups from providing and promoting abortions worldwide.

Nancy “A Wall is Immoral” Pelosi

One would think building a wall to improve border security would be easier and more humane, but apparently Democrats believe sucking the life from babies in the womb is less immoral than building a physical structure protecting America’s borders.

PROFANE – NOT COLORFUL

Tart-tongued Michigan frosh Rep Rashida Tlaib, one of two Muslim women sworn in last week, illustrated her inclusivity and warmth when she told a group of supporters, “We’re going to impeach the motherf&*%#$.

Rashida Tlaib – Michigan

This is what she reportedly told her son what Democrats were going to do to the president once his Mama was sworn in.

Who could forgive her son’s confusion if one day he’s elected as an officer to the Student Council and yells similar epithets at the school principal swearing him in.

SPEAKING OF COLORFUL…

Freshman Virginia Representative Jennifer Wexton thought it would be nice to show her true colors and demonstrate solidarity with the transgender community by flying the transgender pride flag outside her Congressional office.

Wexton isn’t transgender, but she has a niece who is and one of her hall mates is Danica Roem, the nations’s first openly transgender person to serve in any U.S. state legislature.

Jennifer Wexton – Virginia

The transgender flag consists of five horizontal stripes: two blue, two pink, and one white. What flag did Wexton’s transgender flag replace? The black and white POW/MIA flag honoring veterans who were – or are – missing in action.

Swapping a decades-old flag commemorating America’s veterans in the People’s House with a flag honoring people confused as to which bathroom to use seems misguided at best and insulting at worst.

Not to mention Wexton has an estimated 60,000 former military members working civilian jobs in her congressional district, and an untold number of active duty military.

Time will tell how voters react to Wexton’s change of colors, but the anecdotes above are just four examples of alt-left Democrats showing their mistaken priorities. And that was just their first day!

Sources: dailycaller.com, breitbart.com, freep.com, thebullelephant.com

Photo sources: AZCentral.com, YouTube.com, The Bull Elephant

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Month: January 2019

End of Government Shutdown Near?

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