Biden Flipping Lid Over Presidency?

Depressed, frustrated and angry at the millions of voter fingers pointed his way blaming him for a tanking economy, President Joe Biden is reportedly considering calling a lid on his presidency to pursue a new challenge: managing a baseball team.

You read that right. Joe Biden may flip his presidential lid for a baseball cap.

“Look, look, it’s like this. Everyone knows I’m not calling the shots right now as president but yet I get blamed for everything going wrong.” Leaning forward, he adds with a fervid whisper, “I’ve had it with all these lyin,’ dog-faced pony soldiers dissin’ ol’ Joe.

“I’ve still got game, and the game I’m aiming for is baseball. It’s pure, it’s simple and its as American pie as Betty Crocker and that guy who sang that song about music dying and the levee being dry because Trump didn’t water it or somethin’.”

The president turned wannabe baseball manager says he’s got his eye on managing a team he’s followed since childhood famous for its infield, though he plans to make significant roster changes from the outset.

“Look, look, this guy Who on first base. He’s out of position because he can’t bend or stretch anymore but he’s still got a good arm. I plan to move Who to third and put I Don’t Know on second and What on first,” the president said.

“Who’s playing shortstop?” Fox News’ Peter Doocy asked.

“Who isn’t playing shortstop, you stupid son of a b,” Biden chortles. “I’m moving him to second. Or is Who on first?” the president muses with a vacant stare.

“Who’s on third,” Doocy says. “You just made that your first roster change.”

“Who did?” the president queries.

“No, you did, Mr. President,” Doocy says. “Just a minute ago.”

“Says Who?” Biden asks

“Says you,” Doocy explained. “Who hasn’t commented on the move.”

“But I remember Who playing first,” the president whined. “I saw him after I marched at Selma with Martin Luther King, Jr., in the back of an 18-wheeler, on my drive to South Africa to shake hands with Nelson Mandela.”

Silence enveloped the press room as reporters sat scribbling what the president meant to say so they could confirm that with his staff afterwards.

“Any Who,” the president said, chuckling at his own wit. “The point is, and here’s the point, and that point is I don’t know what I don’t know, but I do know I Don’t Know isn’t playing shortstop. Capice?

The president promised to circle back on his entire lineup before his first game, but we can report that No One’s Home is pitching at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue while America burns.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Copyright 2022, Dean A. George© 

A Little Jab Will Do You – Or Will It?

Back in the 1950’s Brylcreem ran an advertising campaign for their men’s hair product with the slogan, ” A little dab’ll do ya.” Seventy years later the CDC has unwittingly repurposed that theme while encouraging COVID vaccinations: “A little jab’ll do ya.”

But will it? Depends on whom you ask.

Q: Will the Pfizer, Moderna or Johnson and Johnson vaccines protect you from catching COVID?

A: No, but President Biden and Anthony Fauci say you should get the jab so America can bend the curve or get back to normal or something.

Q: Will the jab keep you from transmitting COVID?

A: No, and questioning the efficacy of the jab may mean you’re a white Christian nationalist mouth breather. If you ask why the thousands of illegals coming in through the southern border aren’t required to be vaccinated, you may be a white Christian nationalist xenophobe.

Q: Once jabbed, can you quit wearing a mask and no longer worry about social distancing?

A: No, because you can still catch COVID and infect others, you selfish jerk! Fun fact: did you know that if you get the jab and die within 14 days, your medical record will list you as “unvaccinated?”

Q: So why get the experimental gene therapy jab?

A: If you do catch COVID it minimizes the symptoms and will probably keep you out of the hospital, though the chances of needing hospitalization are minimal anyway unless you are obese, have one or more co-morbidities and someone in hospital administration hears you have a cough.

Q: Is it true many hospitals are currently overrun with COVID cases?

A: No. Whistleblowers are providing evidence and leaked Zoom calls from hospital marketing meetings show that like many things with this scamdemic, hospitals being overrun with COVID emergencies isn’t true.

Q: Are most doctors and nurses getting the jab?

No. Many nurses have quit their jobs when being forced to undergo the jab and over 860,000 doctors worldwide have signed the Great Barrington Declaration recommending focused protection for the most vulnerable rather than mass vaccinations of an experimental gene therapy for everyone.

Q: Is the jab safe?

A: Not if you believe the self-reporting VAERS database the CDC uses. One NYC doctor says VAERS is grossly undercounting the number of deaths and significant side effects caused by the jab.

Q: Will a jab of the CDC’s magic elixir protect you against different variants of COVID?

A: No. The vaccine is only effective against the original variant of COVID, and is reportedly only good for 5-6 months. Kind of like taking a flu vaccine left over from two or three years ago. It might work…?

Q: Are there any other benefits to getting the jab other than it minimizes symptoms from the original COVID virus?

A: You can go places that require proof of being jabbed like restaurants, concerts, health clubs and football stadiums. Oh, you also get a cool card identifying you as a “vaccinated” person and the privilege of unlimited virtue signaling if that’s your thing.

Q: Let’s see if we understand what we’re being told. Even if you’ve had COVID, you’re being asked to take the jab to presumably protect others and eliminate the pandemic, though you can still get sick and transmit the virus?

A: Yes. The question we all need to ask is why are health bureaucrats like Tony Fauci and our elected leaders pleading/insisting/demanding/mandating/shaming everyone to take an experimental gene therapy that doesn’t provide immunity, doesn’t prevent transmission, works only on the original COVID variant, and doesn’t last more than a few months?

Fauci has warned for weeks its probable another, more dangerous variant may be on the horizon. If we don’t stand up as a united people, defy the medical tyranny of the past 19 months and reclaim our freedom as individuals, Dr. Gloom may be right about a dangerous new variant.


Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. 

Sources: Deutsche Welle News, Fox News, The Gateway Pundit, Cities 929, Not the Bee, The Epoch Times, Great Barrington Declaration, Warrior 12

Copyright 2021, Dean A. George© 



Joe Biden’s Supreme Court Plan

Joe Biden is fed up about questions concerning stacking the U.S. Supreme Court and earlier today he took action to put the matter to rest.

Appearing this morning on an exclusive live podcast at Tupac Shakur Elementary School in Wilmington, Delaware, Biden sat with 5th grader and podcast host LaToya James.

“Thanks for having me on LeBron, and thanks for the opportunity to share with voters my preference on whether or not to expand the Supreme Court from the current 9 million injustices to 12 hundred or a baker’s dozen.

“While it’s true the number of Supreme Court justices has been nine for the past 150 centuries, it’s also true there’s nothing in the USS Constitution prohibiting adding a few more black robes to the bench if it feels right,” Biden said while peeking around his disposable mask worn inside out and over one eye.

“And if it feels good, do it, right Lavonne,” the Democrat presidential candidate said, winking with his mask covered eye while leaning in trying to sniff the 10-year-old’s hair.

“I mean, look it up for gosh’s sake. Nowhere in the Emancipation Pronunciation or in that hollowed out document we hold sincerely does it say those rights which are self-evidentiary be proclaimed with liberty and nine justices for all.”

At this point Tupac Shakur principal Dorothea Lovejoy tried to unclip the microphone from Biden’s lapel but the 77-year-old former vice-president nuzzled her hand with his nose before rambling on.

“C’mon, man, you know these are the facts and facts trump the truth, regardless of whoever is sitting in the White House – whether it’s me, Donald Trump, or my old nemesis Corn Pop,” he said before removing his mask and coughing into his hand.

“Now, I hope this puts an end to all the malarkey about me refusing to say how I plan to vote for U.S. Senate,” the Democrat candidate said.

“I’m Joe Biden, and I approve this message.”

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who know God has blessed our country. 

Sources: The Gateway Pundit

Photo sources: KWTX, politics.theonion.com

Copyright 2020, Dean A. George© 

Biden To Debate Self in Basement

Hidin’ Joe Biden is in a quandary.

The Commission on Presidential Debates decided without telling either candidate that it was canceling the second presidential candidate Oct 15th in Miami, Florida and going with a virtual debate format instead.

President Donald Trump criticized the commission’s decision, saying he wouldn’t participate in a virtual debate because it was a “waste of time” and the commission was doing it to protect his opponent. The president announced instead he would do a virtual town hall today on Rush Limbaugh’s nationally syndicated radio show.

Where does that leave Uncle Joe?

“I don’t know what I’ll do,” Joe Biden said from the brightly colored Fisher-Price conference table in his basement. “I’m tired of finger painting and playing Go Fish with Jill, and my campaign manager suggested we donate all my Play-Doh to college students because they think Trump is going to win in a tsunami and they knead it more than I do.

“C’mon, man,” the Democrat candidate said in exasperation while sniffing the hair of the Cabbage Patch Doll he was fondling.

A second later Biden grew thoughtful.

“Of course, all these tsunamis, hurricanes and dog faced pony soldier shortages are Donald Trump’s fault, because he’s more interested in helping his stock market friends than he is wearing a mask and protecting the American people from black women stocking store shelves and the, you know, the thing described in the Emancipation Pronunciation and the Magnum Carter.

When asked why he wouldn’t do his own virtual town hall with a nationally syndicated liberal talk show host, Biden looked like his questioner was daft.

“C’mon man, Corn Pop left the biz years ago and there isn’t anyone who could fill his shoe-bi-do-bi-do’s. Not even Vladamir Putin’s buddy, Rushian Limbaugh,” the former Vice-President spat emphatically in the mask he wore inside out and over one nostril.

When last seen the dejected former Vice-President was practicing karate chops in front of a floor length mirror and shouting, “If the Coronavirus wasn’t man enough to do the job Trump, I’ll take you out with the Kung flu moves Barack taught me. Aiyeeeee!!!

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who know God has blessed our country. 

Photo sources: Washington Post, Slate

Copyright 2020, Dean A. George© 









Confident Biden Making Cabinet Choices

Detractors may call Joe Biden slow, but there’s nothing slow about the former vice-president’s actions since his momentous South Carolina and Super Tuesday (or Super Thursday) wins.

According to Breitbart, Axios was reporting Monday that Biden’s staff was busy compiling a list of Cabinet picks for their boss’s consideration, including many Obama leftovers – I mean, holdovers.

According to anonymous sources close to Biden though, Dean Riffs has learned the expected 2020 Democrat nominee has a few picks of his own he’s looking forward to joining his administration, including:

  • Teddy Roosevelt as Interior Secretary because he was a proven conservationist as President during the Korean Conflict;
  • George C. Scott as Secretary of Defense based on his success leading colonial militias during the Civil War against the Hessian Nazis at Trenton;
  • Reese Witherspoon as Attorney General for her demonstrable knowledge of the criminal justice system in Legally Blonde;
  • Jane Fonda as Labor Secretary for her well known experience dealing with the challenges of working women stuck on the 9-5 treadmill;

  • Former presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg as Education Secretary because he understands the peer pressure of being gay and the last kid chosen for dodge ball in PE class.  Also, Biden knows that Mayor Pete enjoys counseling kids on lifestyle options and will leave no child behind – unless instructed to by a pro-choice mother having second thoughts;
  • Nancy Pelosi as EPA secretary because she understands the value of recycling and paper preservation.  “I’ve known Nancy for years and she’s no paper tiger, I’ll tell you that,” Biden said emphatically.

  • Pink, Cindy Lauper and WWE female wrestler Asuka to Cabinet positions to be announced later in order to fulfill Biden’s promise of including women of colorful hair.

A few non-Cabinet level positions Biden is considering includes Madonna as spiritual adviser because Amtrak Joe is a good Catholic.  He also believes the Material Girl will set the ethical bar high for an OBiden-Bama administration.

Finally, Biden is also considering placing MSNBC anchor Brian Williams as head of the Office of Management and Budget because the journalist has a shrewd ability to manipulate statistics to say whatever a Democrat administration needs them to say.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. 

Photo sources:  Business Insider, The Guardian, jamiegreening.com

Copyright 2020, Dean A. George©

Left Wingers Have Finally Lost It

Dimwits, dolts or dullards? Take your pick and pin the tail on the donkey of the Democrat leadership, The Squad,  and the party’s 2020 train wreck of presidential political candidates.

Left Losing It #1  Teen Swedish weather cultist Greta Thunberg recently addressed a UN Assembly to discuss climate change and proceeded to acid rain on the gathering’s parade by blaming and threatening international leaders for not doing enough on climate change.

Other than lambasting world leaders for their selfishness and greed, young Greta was a sweetheart.

At one point during her speech she whined, “This is all wrong.  I shouldn’t be up here.  I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean.”

On that point we agreed; she shouldn’t have been there. She should have been in school.  Studying real science.  And Adam Smith’s The Wealth of Nations.

According to the 16-year-old Swede whose challenges with Asperger’s Syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder are well documented, “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words.  How dare you!”

She concluded her “pep talk” with these foreboding words:

“We will not let you get away with this.  Right here, right now is where we draw the line.  The world is waking up.  And change is coming, whether you like it or not.”

Using a mentally-challenged teenager schooled on junk science for the purpose of overthrowing the world’s best economic system, and bullying people into submission, is like strapping explosives to Palestinian teens, encouraging them to blow up Jews and then applauding their commitment to population control.

Left Losing It #2

In Episode #478 of the Democrat Impeachment Chronicles the wayward party of Jefferson struck on a new strategy to get Orange Man Bad: use a faux whistle blower to accuse him of colluding with a foreign country to provide dirt on a campaign opponent.

And surprise – the foreign country wasn’t Russia.  That’s a new wrinkle.

The Deep State’s latest scheme was working well until it was learned that:

  • The whistleblower wasn’t in the room during the president’s phone call
  • The whistleblower hadn’t seen the transcript of what was said during the president’s phone call until it was made public
  • The whistleblower is believed to have worked for the CIA
  • The whistleblower’s attorney had worked for both Chuck-it-All Schumer and Hillary Clinton
  • The whistleblower’s lead attorney had contributed to hair sniffer Joe Biden’s presidential campaign.

But it gets better.  Nancy Pelosi announced Sept 24 the Democrats were doing a remake of the Seinfeld show – they planned to launch an official impeachment inquiry based on nothing.

Pelosi pulled the trigger on the Democrat impeachment gun before seeing the transcript of the president’s phone call, without seeing the Inspector General’s report, without hearing from the whistleblower, without questioning a single witness and – without any credible evidence of an impeachable offense.

At last count 220 Democrats and one independent support impeaching the president.  For what offense?

Asking the newly-elected Ukrainian president for his country’s help in investigating their country’s interference in America’s 2016 presidential election and former Vice-President Joe Biden’s threat to withhold one billion dollars of U.S. aid to keep his son from being prosecuted in a corruption probe and maintain his $50,000 monthly income.

Time will tell, but the smart money is saying the impeachment shoe is on the wrong party’s foot.

Sources: NPR, Bloomberg Markets and Finance, The Federalist, The Gateway Pundit, New York Times

Photos courtesy of: Black News Zone, Breitbart

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. 

Copyright 2019, Dean A. George©

Trump Behind “Hairy” Conspiracy

It’s only mid-August and conspiracy theories are in full bloom in the nation’s capitol. 

The “Gotcha” speculations are so profuse they outnumber human droppings in Nancy Botoxi’s Scat Francisco district.  Someone should create a spreadsheet to keep track.

Most recently is Jeffrey Epstein’s dubious “suicide.” The week before was the left blaming President Trump for the tragic mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. 

Ongoing is the spurious impeachment proceedings by unhinged Democrats in the House of Representatives, both the “formal” and “informal” variety. 

I asked my Android personal digital assistant to define “informal impeachment proceeding” and it displayed an image of Jerry Nadler in Bermuda shorts sipping a Mai Tai.

Finally, there is Episode 4, Act 3, Scene 2 in the Russian Collusion Illusion.

Today there’s another “hairy” conspiracy that has so far gone unreported, and Dean Riffs has the exclusive details.

Donald Trump will soon be accused by rival presidential campaigns, the mainstream media and the loopy staff of Morning Joe and Rachel Maddow of “scripting” front runner Joe Biden’s gaffes through a nefarious new mode of sensory processing disorder.

Code named “Joe Blows,” the diabolical sensory processor will be blamed for a string of recent Biden verbal blunders, including:

We choose unity over division. We choose science over fiction. We choose truth over facts…”  

Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids…”

Those kids in Parkland came to see me when I was Vice-President.” NOTE: Parkland shooting happened in 2018 – Joe Biden’s term as Vice-President was over January 20, 2017.

Using a cutting edge process pioneered by Russian intelligence, reportedly Orange Man Bad has managed to implant a form of nanotechnology into Biden’s hair plugs that allow the president and his campaign team to inject pre-written messaging into Biden’s speeches.

The result:  the Democrat front-runner sounds like a senile, over-the-hill presidential candidate rather than the charismatic, energetic, hair-sniffing dynamo he really is.

The reaction from the president’s 2020 Democrat chew toy opponents was immediate:

“This is a very dangerous president who makes Americans’ hair stand on end.”  – Spartacus

“If you ask me, he’s a racist, a white supremacist and a bully.  The president’s candidacy is hanging by a hair.”  – Robert Francis O’Rourke from his skateboard

“Look, I don’t want to split hairs and it gives me no pleasure to say this, but I think all of the evidence out there suggests that we have a president who is a racist, a xenophobe, and has just managed to avoid impeachment by a hair.” – Bernie “Back in the USSR” Sanders

“He’s changing the conversation, and if we allow him to do that we will tear our hair out rather than focus on real solutions for real Americans.” – Beto O’Rourke again, but this time standing on a diner counter in someone’s chili and crackers.

High level sources reveal that Trump got the idea of hijacking Biden’s thought processes from son Baron after father and son watched Bruce Almighty together.

 

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. 

Photo sources: c-fam.org, politics.theonion.com, Movie Clips

 

Copyright 2019, Dean A. George©

Dems Pin Hopes on a Latina Lodestar

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the Latina gift that keeps on giving – to Republicans.

Since upsetting 20-year-incumbent Joe Crowley in New York’s June primary, the avowed Democratic-Socialist has become the darling of progressives and in the words of DNC chair Thomas Perez, the future of the Democrat party.

Wait a sec. President Trump recently said that Maxine Waters is the face of that party, so Ms. Cortez must be the post-face lift face of the Democrat Party.  Regardless, to quote yet another Democrat face: “What difference does it make?”

Since the 28-year-old Latina first came to the nation’s attention, she has demonstrated the political acumen of a 7th-grade social studies student and the oratorical skills of former Vice-President and longtime former Delaware senator “Crazy Uncle” Joe Biden.

For instance, when recently asked by a PBS host about what she meant by the occupation of Palestine, she said this:

Surely her comment about not being a geopolitical expert was self-deprecating humor since she majored in international relations and economics at Boston University.

It must have been an interesting economics class at BU what with all the talk about “no holds barred, Wild West, hyper-capitalism.”

Further demonstrating her grasp of how the economy works, she had this to say about the record low unemployment numbers under Trump.

“The unemployment rate is low because everyone has two jobs. Unemployment is low because people are working 60, 70, 80 hours a week,” Ms. Ocasio-Cortez said during her PBS interview.

Guess we need to revise the bumper sticker that says “My Labrador is Smarter Than Your Honor Roll Student” to read “My Labrador is Smarter Than Your Millennial Grad. ”

And finally there was Alexandria the Great’s recent appearance stumping with that curmudgeonly Vermont socialist Bernie Sanders in Kansas. In the clip the Democrat diva said she and Bernie were there to help flip the state red.

Apparently Boston University offers primary colors art courses in their curriculum, too.

Whatever color Ocasio-Cortez flips, Democrats should know that embracing socialist candidates like her mean the Democrat Party isn’t in Kansas anymore.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. For those who believe in open borders, safe spaces, and who think free speech is hate speech, move on – there’s nothing here for you to see.

Sources: washtimes.com, lifezette.com foxnews.com, Lexy PoliticalRYT
Photo sources: Elite Daily, HotAir.com

 

Copyright 2018, Dean A. George©

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