Seattle – Dean Riffs

It seems like just yesterday that Seattle was the crown jewel of the Pacific Northwest. Now it’s like a public outhouse with an evergreen scent.

Seattle isn’t alone with what to do about their sidewalk doo-doo. The city is still Number 2 to Scat Francisco in brownouts – so to speak.

The first step in Alcoholic Anonymous’ 12-Step program is to admit you have a problem.

No sh$%, Sherlock. If you need a reminder, just check your shoes around Seattle’s downtown courthouse at Third and James .

Seattle City Council members have admitted they have a serious poo miscue, but the obvious answer as to what to do about their doo-doo is being flushed down the commode of commonsense because of – wait for it – racism.

Seattle Council member Larry Gossett, who is black, opposes the idea of power washing street feces “because it brought back images of the use of hoses against civil-rights activists.”

Let’s recap: Seattle is allowing the homeless and others with mental health issues to use downtown streets as personal open air toilets. That’s dumb.

Then the city avoids using the most obvious and efficient means of cleaning up the problem short term so as not to offend anyone from regrettable actions half a century ago. That’s dumber.

What could be even dumber?

Wasting time and resources on a plastic straw ban while requiring citizens to step around urine puddles and piles of feces on their way to and from work.

It’s no wonder that famed psychiatrist Frazier Crane left for greener, less brown pastures. Seattle and many Left Coast cities have gone bat guano loco.

Just say no to poopie streets, Seattle. Here’s a complimentary hashtag:

#StreetPoopingStinks

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Sources: The Gateway Pundit, Seattle Times

Photo sources: probioticdigest.com, Seattle Times

Was Seattle’s goofy effort to ban plastic straws and utensils July 1 the last straw for commonsense?

Is banning the durable plastic straw the infamous straw that broke the camel’s back?

Will July 1, 2018 be forever known as Seattle Slew Plastic Straws Day?

Of all the problems America faces (illegal immigration, terrorist threats and Antifa whiners), Seattle is the first major city to go all in on combating…plastic.

With the mid-term elections less than 100 days away, the left is literally grasping at straws when it comes to addressing serious issues Americans care about.

While cities like San Francisco, Portland and Seattle adopt sanctuary city status and subsidize homelessness, all these progressive utopian cities are also confronting disgusting “byproduct” issues like public urination and disposal of #2 droppings.

Meanwhile, Seattle’s 5,000-plus restaurants are threatened with a $250 fine for providing patrons with a hygienic-friendly, plastic straw or eating utensil.

And that was after more than 200 Seattle eateries voluntarily adopted the ban last year.

Imagine dining in The Emerald City but having to sidestep syringes, urine puddles and human feces to get to a restaurant. If that doesn’t whet your appetite, after checking the bottom of your shoes and once seated, you are then denied a plastic straw because Seattle views them as what? An environmental health hazard.

Happily I don’t live in Seattle, but if I did they’d have to pry my plastic spork out of my cold, dead fingers.

I live in Indiana where plastic straws are not on the endangered products list, but where the nation’s only paper straw manufacturer is located in the state’s second largest city, Fort Wayne. And Aardvark Straws is enjoying unprecedented growth thanks to plastic-phobic cities like Seattle and Malibu, California.

So three cheers from the Heartland for progressivism! Your paper straws are what stirs our free market drink.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. For those who believe in open borders, safe spaces, and who think free speech is hate speech, move on – there’s nothing here for you to see.

Sources: thehill.com, indystar.com, aardvarkstraws.com

Photo sources: newsmax.com, memegenerator.net

Tag: Seattle

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