{"id":5240,"date":"2020-03-04T11:29:15","date_gmt":"2020-03-04T16:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/?p=5240"},"modified":"2020-03-04T14:56:02","modified_gmt":"2020-03-04T19:56:02","slug":"vladimir-putin-announces-candidacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/04\/vladimir-putin-announces-candidacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Vladimir Putin Announces Candidacy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Just when you thought the Democrat presidential primary couldn&#8217;t get any crazier than Joe Biden butchering the Declaration of Independence, the unbelievable happens.<\/p>\n<p>Today <em>CNN<\/em> is reporting that Russian president Vladimir Putin has announced plans to run as a Democrat in the 2020 presidential race.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-5247\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Vlad-Putin-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"253\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Vlad-Putin-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Vlad-Putin-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Vlad-Putin.jpg 992w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When questioned by CNN&#8217;s John King about this unexpected event, Putin just smiled and said through an interpreter he believed his years of experience as the head of a communist superpower gives him a leg up on the current crop of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/27\/left-wingers-have-finally-lost-it\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">socialist wannabes<\/span><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Confirming Democrat suspicions that President Trump was <a href=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/2019\/10\/04\/new-reasons-to-impeach-the-president\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Putin&#8217;s stooge<\/span><\/strong><\/a>, Putin said by running as a Democrat presidential candidate he could eliminate Trump as a middleman and run the American ship of state more efficiently without all that checks and balance nonsense.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s what you Americans call a win-win,&#8221; Putin said through an interpreter.\u00a0 &#8220;Democrats get rid of Trump and America gets an experienced Commander-in-Chief who pledges not to use Twitter and insult his political opponents with silly names,&#8221; Putin said while pointing a finger gun at John Roberts of <em>Fox News<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-5258\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Shirtless-Putin-289x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"289\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Shirtless-Putin-289x300.png 289w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Shirtless-Putin.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 289px) 100vw, 289px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As for his qualifications to serve as president of both Russia and America, Putin pointed to America&#8217;s booming economy under his puppet Trump:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>4 million new jobs since Putin helped Trump steal the election from Hillary Clinton and 3.5 million since Trump took office<\/li>\n<li>Jobless claims at their lowest level in 5 decades<\/li>\n<li>African-American, Hispanic, and Asian-American unemployment rates with recently reached record lows.<\/li>\n<li>Youth unemployment recently reached its lowest level in more than 50 years.<\/li>\n<li>68 percent of Americans reported receiving a pay increase in the past year.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When quizzed about the Constitutional requirements for presidential eligibility, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_2Ttta4cv6A\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">bare chested Putin<\/span><\/strong><\/a> made a dismissive motion before mounting a brown stallion and producing papers documenting his American citizenship and proof of residency.<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MNxEDomUlXw\" width=\"875\" height=\"492\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p>When asked how he got his American citizenship, Putin smiled wanly and credited former Russian president Dmitry Medvedev and the <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Obama Administration for providing that and a legal address at the University of California-Berkeley.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>In exchange the newest Democrat 2020 candidate fixed Hillary Clinton&#8217;s broken reset button and returned it to the State Department with a lifetime guarantee.<\/p>\n<p>The Sanders campaign quickly criticized today&#8217;s surprise development when the frustrated Democrat front runner said, &#8220;Vladimir Putin already had his chance at universal health care and free college tuition and he failed.\u00a0 Putin isn&#8217;t progressive enough.\u00a0 It&#8217;s time to give someone else a shot &#8211; it&#8217;s the right thing to do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Thanks for reading\u00a0<em>Dean Riffs<\/em>. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Photo source: <em>ABC News<\/em>,\u00a0 <em>The Telegraph<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Copyright 2020, Dean A. George\u00a9<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just when you thought the Democrat presidential primary couldn&#8217;t get any crazier than Joe Biden butchering the Declaration of Independence, the unbelievable happens. Today CNN is reporting that Russian president Vladimir Putin has announced plans to run as a Democrat in the 2020 presidential race. When questioned by CNN&#8217;s John &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[273],"tags":[650,647,28,648,646],"class_list":["post-5240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-parody-place","tag-2020-presidential-race","tag-cnn","tag-dean-riffs","tag-democrat-presidential-candidate","tag-vladimir-putin","post_format-post-format-quote"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9iuwk-1mw","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5240","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5240"}],"version-history":[{"count":33,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5240\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5281,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5240\/revisions\/5281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}