{"id":4343,"date":"2019-07-26T06:56:16","date_gmt":"2019-07-26T10:56:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/?p=4343"},"modified":"2019-07-26T13:24:06","modified_gmt":"2019-07-26T17:24:06","slug":"socialist-scout-troop-666-cookie-sale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/2019\/07\/26\/socialist-scout-troop-666-cookie-sale\/","title":{"rendered":"Socialist Scout Troop #666 Cookie Sale"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Everywhere you look there are visuals of the Squawk Squad doing what they do best &#8211; squawking about pet peeves that they whine are endangering our constitutional liberties.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4440 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Kookie-Sale-7.25.19.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1050\" height=\"764\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Kookie-Sale-7.25.19.jpg 1050w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Kookie-Sale-7.25.19-300x218.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Kookie-Sale-7.25.19-768x559.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Kookie-Sale-7.25.19-1024x745.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1050px) 100vw, 1050px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Here is a partial list:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Trump is acting like Hitler;<\/li>\n<li>Trump is racist and is enabling racism;<\/li>\n<li>Undocumented children are being held in cages;<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=wDq75YMOiwk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Border Patrol and ICE<\/span><\/strong><\/a> are acting like Nazi concentration camp guards;<\/li>\n<li>The country hasn&#8217;t passed the New Green Deal because Americans are racists;<\/li>\n<li>Boycotting Israel is the same as boycotting Nazi Germany;<\/li>\n<li>We need a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegatewaypundit.com\/2019\/07\/bring-in-the-robots-rep-rashida-tlaib-calls-for-a-20-minimum-wage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">$20 minimum wage<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to afford milk and eggs;<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegatewaypundit.com\/2019\/07\/rep-ilhan-omar-wants-taxpayer-funded-abortions-for-illegal-immigrants\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Taxpayer funded abortions<\/span><\/strong><\/a> should be made available to all illegal immigrants.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">The last place I expected to see the Squirrely Squawk Squad was fundraising at a roadside stand but as we all know, these socialistic gal-pals will appear anywhere there are cameras and a crowd..<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez<\/strong> was ready for her closeup &#8211; waving her arms like a <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/IggA9opoDTI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">loon,<\/span><\/strong><\/a> spouting <span style=\"color: #000000;\">economic gibberish<\/span> and mauling World War II analogies.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4407\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/AOC-7.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"252\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/AOC-7.jpg 692w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/AOC-7-300x189.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ilhan Omar<\/strong> was fantasizing about being Audrey Hepburn in a hijab and cursing Israel and President Trump.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rashida Tlaib<\/strong> was <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=sJBRnxGuLwg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">stomping around<\/span><\/strong><\/a> shouting epithets and saying she was going to &#8220;impeach&#8221; the motherf#%$&amp;#! every 10 words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ayanna Pressley<\/strong> &#8211; was denouncing black faces that don&#8217;t sound black and brown faces that don&#8217;t sound brown and white faces who always sound racist.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4408\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ayanna-Pressley-300x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ayanna-Pressley-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ayanna-Pressley-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ayanna-Pressley.png 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In their &#8220;Kookie&#8221; tent each member of the Scurrilous Squad had their own personalized cookie they were promoting:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Alexandria Opportunist-Coronado<\/strong> was pushing a graham cracker cookie covered in chocolate and marshmallow because she&#8217;s always wanting s&#8217;more and s&#8217;more of our money.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Incestuous Ilhan Omar<\/strong> was peddling camel caramel chocolate chip cookies (Don&#8217;t ask about the camel ingredient.)\u00a0 She said cookies for Jewish and Christian customers came with a &#8220;Somali surprise&#8221; in lieu of chocolate chips, and a hint of sea salt reflecting her spicy <a href=\"https:\/\/www.breitbart.com\/politics\/2019\/07\/25\/flashback-ilhan-omar-tells-al-jazeera-our-country-should-be-more-fearful-of-white-men\/#\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Somali personality<\/span><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4409\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ilhan-Omar-2-300x175.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ilhan-Omar-2-300x175.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ilhan-Omar-2-768x448.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Ilhan-Omar-2.jpg 857w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rashida #$%#%^! Tlaib<\/strong> favored a tangy lemon-iced cookie powdered with hummus, olive oil and Palestinian pine nuts.\u00a0 Each cookie contained a fortune: a favorite Tlaib Palestinian epithet.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Aryan Pressley <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=VHdp6eeXJUk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">raved<\/span><\/a><\/strong> about her skinny cookie which was a round, mint-flavored cookie coated in chocolate. Pressley&#8217;s cookie had a special ingredient:\u00a0 a Boston Bean extract that conjured hallucinations that make Pressley sound like Oprah Winfrey when speaking in public.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4410\" src=\"http:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Rashida-Tlaib-2-285x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"285\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Rashida-Tlaib-2-285x300.jpg 285w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Rashida-Tlaib-2-768x808.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Rashida-Tlaib-2.jpg 842w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 285px) 100vw, 285px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Cookie prices were available in three tiers:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Undocumented immigrants<\/strong> &#8211; FREE<br \/>\n<strong>Brothers and Sisters of Color<\/strong> &#8211; Whatever you can afford<br \/>\n<strong>White skinned and tanned Caucasians<\/strong> &#8211; $5 per cookie or $65 a dozen.\u00a0 NO CRACKER CHECKS!<\/p>\n<p>The Mob Squad sold all their cookies before noon when a PBS limousine spotted them, bought all their inventory and announced plans to give single boxes away in their next fundraiser to donors pledging $500 or more.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sources:\u00a0<em>Fox News, The Gateway Pundit, The D.C. Shorts, Breitbart, Now This News<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Copyright 2019, Dean A. George\u00a9<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everywhere you look there are visuals of the Squawk Squad doing what they do best &#8211; squawking about pet peeves that they whine are endangering our constitutional liberties. Here is a partial list: Trump is acting like Hitler; Trump is racist and is enabling racism; Undocumented children are being held &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[273],"tags":[356,559,28,471,441,564,560],"class_list":["post-4343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-parody-place","tag-alexandria-ocasio-cortez","tag-ayanna-pressley","tag-dean-riffs","tag-ilhan-omar","tag-rashida-tlaib","tag-socialist-scout-troop","tag-the-squad","post_format-post-format-quote"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9iuwk-183","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4343"}],"version-history":[{"count":50,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4452,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4343\/revisions\/4452"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deanriffs.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}