Presidents’ Day – Dean Riffs

To celebrate President’s Day 2020, President Donald Trump has announced plans for a week-long sale of historic proportions.

Beginning today the Trump Administration is offering unheard savings as evidenced by a reduction of the National Security Council staff by 50 percent. You heard that right! All Obama-era holdovers must go and no bid is too low for a Never-Trump bureaucrat at this year’s Presidents’ Day Sale!

Voters enjoyed a two-for-one flash sale Friday when Army Lt. Col Alexander Vindman was escorted off the White Houses grounds and dismissed from the National Security Council. Around the same time Vindman’s twin brother, Lt. Col. Yevgeny Vindman, also left the National Security Council.

In a political consumer event almost too big to believe, later that same day the U.S. Ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, was recalled from his overseas position.

And that’s not all! All bureaucrats bearing the Deep State label must go and no reasonable offer will be refused, says National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien. O’Brien is promising more job cuts this week and the president has insisted that all Obama holdovers will be available on a first come, first subpoena-served basis.

If you’re in the market for an experienced backstabber, loquacious liar or illicit leaker, you must act fast to take advantage of this sensational Deep State Presidents’ Day Sale.

Hurry fast for best selection because President Trump has promised to make 2020 the biggest swamp draining event ever! Once the rule of law is restored and these power-crazed Obama flunkies are gone, they’re gone for good!

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Photo sources: Jennings Chevrolet, Sun Sentinel

Presidents’ Day is like a holiday Rorschach test.

Ask a dozen people who the day is meant to honor and many will say George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, whose birthdays were both in February.

Some say President’s Day celebrates all presidents while others believe it commemorates the Mount Rushmore four.

Four years ago Chicago’s e-coupon marketer Groupon did a marketing gag on Presidents Day where they offered $10 off any $40 purchase from participating local businesses.

The statement on their website promoting the special read like this:

“The $10 bill, as everyone knows, features President Alexander Hamilton — undeniably one of our greatest presidents and most widely recognized for establishing the country’s financial system.”

For history-challenged readers, aka, high school students or Ivy League college underclassmen, the gag was Alexander Hamilton was never President of the United States, but served in President George Washington’s cabinet as the nation’s first Secretary of the Treasury.

For readers who may be college juniors and seniors, nor did Hamilton invent the $10 bill.

He is however, the celebrated star of a popular musical where theater goers may pick up a historical fact or two between choruses.

Groupon reportedly claimed the spoof was a huge success, although a small group of litigious-minded Americans tried unsuccessfully to sue on the grounds they claimed the company had plagiarized April Fool’s Day.

They pressed for damages, claiming that the February stunt created a panic when thousands of Americans feared it was April 1 and they were late filing their taxes, causing them to get hooked on opioids and injure themselves while doing their returns on Turbo Tacks.

Alright, alright – I made that part up about the bogus lawsuit, but hey – we all celebrate Presidents Day in our own way!

Another sign of this dysfunctional holiday is the wandering apostrophe. Is it Presidents’ Day, President’s Day or Presidents Day?

However you write it, the apostrophe in Presidents Day has serious displacement issues.

The final reason why Presidents Day is schizo because unlike the Fourth of July, Veteran’s Day or even Valentine’s Day, it isn’t observed on a specific date but rather on the third Monday of February.

This makes it more like Thanksgiving, which is held on the fourth Thursday of November, except Thanksgiving has better food than Presidents’ Day, and Black Friday shopping rather than white sales, but at least they have the non-specific date thing in common.

This much I know for sure. Our Declaration of Independence says we have the right to life, liberty and three-day holiday weekends, and wherever you put the ‘Pres’idents Da’y apostrophe, this is an inalienable right – as long as you are a state or federal government employee or work for a bank.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country. For those who believe in open borders, safe spaces, and who tolerate everything but free speech and conservative ideals, move on – there’s nothing here for you to see.

Photo sources: wtdn.com, change.org, picsmine.com

Tag: Presidents’ Day

Trump’s Yuge Presidents’ Day Sale

Like this:

America’s Schizophrenic Holiday!

Like this: