Beto O’Rourke – Dean Riffs

It’s only mid-August and conspiracy theories are in full bloom in the nation’s capitol.

The “Gotcha” speculations are so profuse they outnumber human droppings in Nancy Botoxi’s Scat Francisco district. Someone should create a spreadsheet to keep track.

Most recently is Jeffrey Epstein’s dubious “suicide.” The week before was the left blaming President Trump for the tragic mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton.

Ongoing is the spurious impeachment proceedings by unhinged Democrats in the House of Representatives, both the “formal” and “informal” variety.

I asked my Android personal digital assistant to define “informal impeachment proceeding” and it displayed an image of Jerry Nadler in Bermuda shorts sipping a Mai Tai.

Finally, there is Episode 4, Act 3, Scene 2 in the Russian Collusion Illusion.

Today there’s another “hairy” conspiracy that has so far gone unreported, and Dean Riffs has the exclusive details.

Donald Trump will soon be accused by rival presidential campaigns, the mainstream media and the loopy staff of Morning Joe and Rachel Maddow of “scripting” front runner Joe Biden’s gaffes through a nefarious new mode of sensory processing disorder.

Code named “Joe Blows,” the diabolical sensory processor will be blamed for a string of recent Biden verbal blunders, including:

“We choose unity over division. We choose science over fiction. We choose truth over facts…”

“Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids…”

“Those kids in Parkland came to see me when I was Vice-President.” NOTE: Parkland shooting happened in 2018 – Joe Biden’s term as Vice-President was over January 20, 2017.

Using a cutting edge process pioneered by Russian intelligence, reportedly Orange Man Bad has managed to implant a form of nanotechnology into Biden’s hair plugs that allow the president and his campaign team to inject pre-written messaging into Biden’s speeches.

The result: the Democrat front-runner sounds like a senile, over-the-hill presidential candidate rather than the charismatic, energetic, hair-sniffing dynamo he really is.

The reaction from the president’s 2020 Democrat chew toy opponents was immediate:

“This is a very dangerous president who makes Americans’ hair stand on end.” – Spartacus

“If you ask me, he’s a racist, a white supremacist and a bully. The president’s candidacy is hanging by a hair.” – Robert Francis O’Rourke from his skateboard

“Look, I don’t want to split hairs and it gives me no pleasure to say this, but I think all of the evidence out there suggests that we have a president who is a racist, a xenophobe, and has just managed to avoid impeachment by a hair.” – Bernie “Back in the USSR” Sanders

“He’s changing the conversation, and if we allow him to do that we will tear our hair out rather than focus on real solutions for real Americans.” – Beto O’Rourke again, but this time standing on a diner counter in someone’s chili and crackers.

High level sources reveal that Trump got the idea of hijacking Biden’s thought processes from son Baron after father and son watched Bruce Almighty together.

Thanks for reading Dean Riffs. Welcome to all those who love American liberty, free enterprise, and who believe God has blessed our country.

Photo sources: c-fam.org, politics.theonion.com, Movie Clips

Border patrols agents recommend it. Ranchers and law enforcement officials in Arizona, New Mexico and Texas want it. The president promised it and a majority of Americans support it.

So why now are all Democrats and some squishy Republicans adamant in their opposition to a wall on our southern border?

Former Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Nancy Pelosi

The easy answer is Democrats need new voters to replace the moderate Dems and independents they have lost with their wacky policies.

Conversely, Republicans want low-skilled workers to satisfy their corporate lobbyists who want to increase profits by paying lower wages to their employees.

Could there be another reason though, for politicians’ unwillingness to yield on their refusal to provide a border wall that would inarguably cut down on crime, drug running, human trafficking, child molestations and exploding welfare rolls?

In May, 2016 Nancy Pelosi, a former Speaker of the House at the time and current Speaker, visited Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto along with Democrat Robert “Beto” O’Rourke, Democrat Representative Henry Cuellar, and other congress critters.

Of the 11 elected officials on the trip, two were Republicans and nine were Democrats. The two Republicans taken for a ride south of the border provided Pelosi cover to tell the media it was a bipartisan group of lawmakers involved.

The nine Democrats participating in the junket to Mexico were from border states California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. The two Republicans represented districts over a thousand miles from Mexico but no doubt enjoyed their time in the sun toasting each other’s bipartisanship.

The purpose of the trip? According to the Rio Grande Guardian, Pelosi claimed the purpose was to “express our respect for the people of Mexico and the country of Mexico; to acknowledge our shared border and our shared values and to learn more about how we can work together for the bright future for not only our two countries but for our hemisphere.”

Uh, huh. Here’s another reason: What about a substantial bribe of drug cartel money to buy Democrat opposition to a wall and to keep the drugs and illegal immigration flowing faster than the Rio Grande after a flash flood.

Fact: Alex Cifuentes, reportedly a close associate of Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán for years, told a New York City courtroom in 2016 that he had told authorities that El Chapo had offered President Nieto a $100 million bribe in 2016 – the same year Pelosi and her posse came calling.

Today Guzmán was found guilty on all counts by a Brooklyn jury. He faces a lifetime sentence behind bars and will be sentenced June 25.

Fact: Just a few years ago Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer agreed our southern border needed a wall. Now most Dems argue that such a wall is not only unnecessary, but some like Pelosi claim a border wall is “immoral.”

Why the about-face?

Are we safer now? Are there less drugs flowing into the country? Are there fewer criminal illegals crossing our border? Are there fewer crimes committed by illegals? Has the gang problem with groups like MS-13 been eradicated?

Fact: Former Democrat and current Trump supporter Jeffrey Peterson has been very clear why he believes Democrats oppose building the border wall – because they are being paid by the Mexican drug cartels.

Peterson told the The Gateway Pundit last month that the only way President Trump will ever get his border wall is by declaring a national emergency because the Democrat party has been bought and paid for by Mexican drug cartels.

If this theory sounds wackier than an Alexandria Ocrazio-Commie economic blueprint, consider this:

Democrats oppose Trump’s plans for a border wall, they oppose Border Patrol recommendations asking for a wall, they oppose law enforcement enforcing existing immigration law, they oppose ICE operating in sanctuary cities and they even oppose the very existence of ICE as part of our Homeland Security strategy.

Everything the Democrats support benefits Mexico, Central America and the drug cartels. Democrat inaction on the border also allows human trafficking and sexual slavery to continue, all while the Democrats incessantly promote illegals’ rights over those of American citizens.

If not bribes by the Mexican cartels to ignore the crisis on the border, why else do Democrats continue to blatantly defy the will of the American people?

Why else do they ignore commonsense solutions to protect the national interest at their own political peril unless their party has been paid to look the other way?

Nothing else makes sense, and you can bet Democrats’ refusal to #BuildTheWall is making Nancy Pelosi and her border hombres mucho dinero.

Sources: thegatewaypundit.com, bigleaguepolitics.com, riograndeguardian.com, theguardian.com

Photo sources: State Department Watch, Media Circus, Twitter

Tag: Beto O’Rourke

Trump Behind “Hairy” Conspiracy

Like this:

Are Democrats On the Take, On the Border?

Like this: